Speed Dating Apps in Cyberland: Tweet! Tweet!

Their friends agreed they were made for each
when they met at a party out late
And now having spoken by I-Phone to each other
they were about to embark on their first date.

She considered him tall dark & handsome
with broad shoulders and not too much weight
He felt that she had great boobs and a nice bum
and long legs that there were ideal for a mate.

They walked towards the ‘Green Door’ Restaurant
holding hands and each smoking a fag
When just then they heard a beeping sound
coming from inside her imitation Gucci handbag.

Just a minute love, Jenny said, I need to take this
As someone may be in trouble or even dead
And I‘d hate to ignore a plea for help
so why don’t you just walk on ahead.

Tweet! Tweet! You can get one while at work or play
no matter whether you’re bored or keen,
Tweet! Tweet! You can get one while meeting or sleeping
but responding can have results unforeseen..

She clutched her I-Phone from deep inside her purse
and eagerly scanned her tweets for some news
And then she tweeted to Margaret, Susie and Mary
and even to her Mum in case she got the blues.

She told them how wonderful Mike was
And how he swept her of her feet
Then went on at length about how lucky she was
in the way they first chanced to meet.





Meanwhile he was a bit pissed off by this gesture
and felt that her attention had waned
And when she returned to sit down to eat
he let her know with an expression so pained.

Just then there was a sound from his jacket
a low hum and then a loud ringing to boot
Good God, he said, that could be important,
and he reached into the pocket of his suit.

Tweet! Tweet! You can get one while at work or play
no matter whether you’re bored or keen,
Tweet! Tweet! You can get one while meeting or sleeping
But responding can have results unforeseen.

He grabbed the I-Phone from inside his pocket
And perused messages from Joe, Bill and even Pater,
Who wanted to know the score in the match,
and if he could join them for drinks later.

He tried vainly to make contact with them
but could get no signal where he was being fed.
And so he decided to slip quickly outside
to see if that would work better instead.

By this time Jenny was growing truly morose
and sighed a deep sigh with a groan
She was urgently reviewing her opinion of this man
who had left her to eat and drink on her own.

Tweet! Tweet! You can get one while at work or play
no matter whether you’re bored or keen
Tweet! Tweet! You can get one while meeting or sleeping
But responding can have results unforeseen.

When eventually Mike and Jenny returned to their meal,
something seemed to be keeping the magic at bay
And prior thoughts of a permanent liaison
now seemed to be stretching far, far away





They finished their meal quickly and without rancour
but hurried to catch the last bus
And there parting was fleeting and cursory
with a mere peck on the cheek if not a cus!

When Mike reached his final destination
he was still vexed and vowed to end this without pain
But when he took out his I-Phone to tweet her
he found his battery had run down again.

Good Christ! Nothing ever goes right for me he wailed
and his indignation to see was quite plain.
If I can’t contact her now I’ll be in a fine quandary
Jesus! I’ll have to meet the bloody woman again!

Tweet! Tweet! You can get one while at work or play
no matter whether you’re bored or keen,
Tweet! Tweet! You can get one while meeting or sleeping
but responding can have results unforeseen.

So what’s the moral of this forlorn fable?
About a love first tweeted then dashable
Well if you want to be successful in romantic fare
Leave your phone at home and just get mashable.




Note: This is a purely fictional verse written for amusement only.