Up off your Aras if you want to become a Roget's Thesaurus

There are some whose greatest ambition is to occupy the Presidential Aras,

But for me my fondest wish is somehow to become a Roget’s Thesaurus.

I realise for many this is banal, trite and even perhaps extremely absurd,

But even they have to admit that I then would never be lost for a word.

At present I labour to finish the crossword whether Simplex or Crosaire,

But as a Thesaurus I could find a ready solution without pause or care.

No more expletives would issue leading to calls to the local constabulary,

As my ever present wordy options would help increase my vocabulary.

I could confer verbal charity of expression like a linguistic Chuck Feeney,

And could aspire to matching a poetic master like one Seamus Heaney.

Moreover, these verses would not as at present lack rhyme or reason,

But would have multiple choices for words appropriate to every season.

I know some are still sceptical and consider this just so much babble,

But they must admit that I could be very effective in winning at Scrabble.

So I do not need to just differ with you, and feel I should now take a bow,

Because the Thesaurus me could also bicker, disagree, quarrel and row.

I feel that I would soon acquire a name for being insightful, cultured and erudite,

And this despite the fact that plebs among you may well profess to not giving a sh*te.

Words like magnetic, magnification and magnificence will simply slip of the tongue,

And I will introduce new words like dollop, dolour and dolorous really just for fun.

But wait, a sudden thought, concept, belief, musing, or idea has entered my brain,

Which if it goes unchallenged or unquestioned could mean I would be acting in vain.

Perhaps not the number of words but there application is the secret of literary fame,

So simple usage of an ever increasingly variety will not in itself win me the game.

Alas mere recourse to a wide language facility could occasion gibber, gibberish and gibes,

A reflection upon which one should give serious thought before one swallows or imbibes.

Yet an extensive and comprehensive literary usage is an asset when all is said and done,

So let’s raise a glass and give praise to the dictionary, glossary, wordbook and lexicon.

Note: Aras means residence in Irish as in 'Aras an Uachtarain' meaning the Presidents residence.

This is a purely fictional verse written for amusement only.