I have always wanted to try my hand at writing a short story for children which adults could also appreciate so as a trial run as it were, this blog discourse is my first attempt:
There once was a little tiger called Celthick who lives in a far off place on the edge of Europe. Although he had in fact broad strips on his back and could roar like other Tiger Cubs, he was in fact very different because he was really an electronic toy model who needed constant recharging to keep going. Celthick lives in Jedland where everything was done twice, when elsewhere one would normally suffice. It appeared to him that everyone had two houses, two cars and two children and so Celthick felt very alone at times as he had no other tiger cub to play with. Over time he became more and more distressed and his batteries became flat. One day he saw a little bird perched on a tree whom he knew as Ollie Wren, who although a very small bird had a reputation for wisdom, and he asked him what he should do. After studying his figure(s) for some time Ollie concluded that his problem arose because he was really a transformer toy and because no one had thought to change his profile, he was stuck in tiger mode. He suggested that he ask someone to change him. At first Celthick could not find anyone to help him and he sat alone wishing for a Merkel (German miracle). He also came across a Little Red and Blue Riding Hood who offered to help but he soon realised that this was just a sarky loup (French wolf) in a child’s clothing. He was totally despondent until he happened upon a boy called Chopra who was a Toymaster and was adept at transforming toys into many fantastic and unusual figures. Chopra set to work on Celthick and he was soon ‘bailed out’ of his tiger fix. To his great surprise he was now magically transformed into a Pig.
At first Celthick was not entirely overjoyed to be cast as a pig but he was assured by Chopra that there were at least two other prominent Portuguese and Greek pigs in Europe. He also told him that the famous historical flight of the wild geese from Ireland was in fact a flight of the pigs and that many fine Jedland people had made pigs of themselves while abroad. Celthick was still a bit apprehensive but he then remembered other famous pigs like Peppa and George and he further consoled himself that he could have been turned into a dinosaur or worse. So he happily accepted that Chopra’s transformation could have been rasher although he was warned not to tell too many porkies about the contents of his little piggybank. For a while he contended himself by reading the many Bacon reports in Jedland but he was still unhappy about his Celthick name.
One day Celthick was watching ‘STY’ tv when he heard that President Obuma was coming to Jedland. Of course this was not the president’s real name. He was sometimes referred to as plain Hank from Hawaii but he was also called Obuma for short after his affectionate tendency to say ‘Oh bummer’ after every request he received to totally change the world for the better in a few months. President Obuma was pleased to meet Celthick because he remembered his nations own problems with their Bay of Pigs event. Celthick asked him how he could change his name. The president thought hard for a long time and offered to introduce a few navy seals to distract attention from the pigs. However, he finally suggested a more radical and simple solution. He suggested that the little pig drop his ‘thick’ name appendix status and concentrate more on being a true Celt from now on. The little pig was elated and is now a happy and contented pig that will live happily if in penury for years to come. And in honour of his sage presidential advice he is now called Barack Celt in Jedland but still Hank Celt in Hawaii.
So the moral of this little tale is that you may think that your troubles may last until ‘pigs will fly’ but in reality if at first you don’t succeed just Sty, Sty, Sty again.
Note: This nonsense for amusement purposes only and does not purport to refer to any real pigs either living or imagined.
There once was a little tiger called Celthick who lives in a far off place on the edge of Europe. Although he had in fact broad strips on his back and could roar like other Tiger Cubs, he was in fact very different because he was really an electronic toy model who needed constant recharging to keep going. Celthick lives in Jedland where everything was done twice, when elsewhere one would normally suffice. It appeared to him that everyone had two houses, two cars and two children and so Celthick felt very alone at times as he had no other tiger cub to play with. Over time he became more and more distressed and his batteries became flat. One day he saw a little bird perched on a tree whom he knew as Ollie Wren, who although a very small bird had a reputation for wisdom, and he asked him what he should do. After studying his figure(s) for some time Ollie concluded that his problem arose because he was really a transformer toy and because no one had thought to change his profile, he was stuck in tiger mode. He suggested that he ask someone to change him. At first Celthick could not find anyone to help him and he sat alone wishing for a Merkel (German miracle). He also came across a Little Red and Blue Riding Hood who offered to help but he soon realised that this was just a sarky loup (French wolf) in a child’s clothing. He was totally despondent until he happened upon a boy called Chopra who was a Toymaster and was adept at transforming toys into many fantastic and unusual figures. Chopra set to work on Celthick and he was soon ‘bailed out’ of his tiger fix. To his great surprise he was now magically transformed into a Pig.
At first Celthick was not entirely overjoyed to be cast as a pig but he was assured by Chopra that there were at least two other prominent Portuguese and Greek pigs in Europe. He also told him that the famous historical flight of the wild geese from Ireland was in fact a flight of the pigs and that many fine Jedland people had made pigs of themselves while abroad. Celthick was still a bit apprehensive but he then remembered other famous pigs like Peppa and George and he further consoled himself that he could have been turned into a dinosaur or worse. So he happily accepted that Chopra’s transformation could have been rasher although he was warned not to tell too many porkies about the contents of his little piggybank. For a while he contended himself by reading the many Bacon reports in Jedland but he was still unhappy about his Celthick name.
One day Celthick was watching ‘STY’ tv when he heard that President Obuma was coming to Jedland. Of course this was not the president’s real name. He was sometimes referred to as plain Hank from Hawaii but he was also called Obuma for short after his affectionate tendency to say ‘Oh bummer’ after every request he received to totally change the world for the better in a few months. President Obuma was pleased to meet Celthick because he remembered his nations own problems with their Bay of Pigs event. Celthick asked him how he could change his name. The president thought hard for a long time and offered to introduce a few navy seals to distract attention from the pigs. However, he finally suggested a more radical and simple solution. He suggested that the little pig drop his ‘thick’ name appendix status and concentrate more on being a true Celt from now on. The little pig was elated and is now a happy and contented pig that will live happily if in penury for years to come. And in honour of his sage presidential advice he is now called Barack Celt in Jedland but still Hank Celt in Hawaii.
So the moral of this little tale is that you may think that your troubles may last until ‘pigs will fly’ but in reality if at first you don’t succeed just Sty, Sty, Sty again.
Note: This nonsense for amusement purposes only and does not purport to refer to any real pigs either living or imagined.
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