Wouldn't It be Handy if I became A Yankee Doodle Dandy?

Investment in our poor country is now running to the sea like a river in spate
With many people wondering if we any longer have even a real sovereign state
And for many like myself life has been very tough and has taken a hard toll
But suddenly there is hope from green shamrock contained in a little Superbowl.

Our Prime Minister Enda gave it as a present to the USA on last St Patrick’s Day
And your President in turn then promised to come visit and cheer us up in May
But how could a humble little bowl of green plants lighten our own financial task
And how a recovery in fortune could result from same, you may well indeed ask.

Well you see that we as a nation are not as green as this plant from an Irish field
Because this shamrock in a form of hedge fund with which riches can be sealed
So in return for retaining a corporate tax here as low as twelve and a half percent
We will ensure that all American Foreign National’s profits to home can be sent.

And to those who may be incredulous and doubt that this will please your Uncle Sam
Can I simply point out that the same was done before with tulip bulbs in Old Amsterdam
Our Celtic Tiger was a cub from a liaison like that between Freedie Mac and Fanny Mae
So the green shoots of recovery can be found in the humble shamrock whatever they say.

Those who have scoffed or have said a spell of change would take the Magic of a Merlin
Should try to remember like minister Harney that we may be closer to Boston than Berlin
And a little bowl of shamrock brought a broad smile to the cheeks of one Barack Obama
Not to mention the green hue appearing on our Edna’s face like a chubby Irish Dali Lama.

Yet some you remain unconvinced by my treatise and think that I am merely teasing
But most Irish people would also like to benefit from your Dollar’s quantitative easing
Indeed the White House fountain has turned green and Obama has a very friendly tone
And it’s said that Timothy Geithner of the US Treasury Dept is even considering a loan.

A new alliance with the United States in our current dilemma could indeed prove handy
But it could lead us to loose identity and be referred to as a mere Yankee Doodle Dandy
Still we could claim as our new president Barack Obama, who has charisma and charm
So even if we turn our country into a mixture of Disney and Dallas, is it really any harm.

But wait, is it certain that the Molly Blooms in our green Irish garden will ever be rosy
Or is this proposal a mere knee jerk response to the remarks of French President Sarkozy
Maybe we should reflect a little longer before we apply to use the standard dollar bureau
And despite our reservations continue with the IMF/ECB rescue and especially the Euro.

You see, joining the United States team would not be without some problems after all,
For example, we might have to eat humble Apple pie and replace hurling with baseball
So perhaps on balance, we are not as badly off as we think and should stop our wailin’

For come next election we might not get Obama as we hope but good grief, Sarah Palin.

So we’ll simply resolve to be better at being Irish and we will not give up all our hope
For good and all as Obama is for Ireland, can he really be as infallible as a German Pope
And staying as we are means we can still enjoy fine drinking, long chats and good craic
Without feeling obliged like our American Yankee friends to invade countries like Iraq.

And sure green shamrock is best worn on a proud chest but one Saint’s day each year
As even hedge or field funds do not guarantee vast returns of income it has become clear
So let’s simply raise a toast to being Irish, to our fine country and especially to our stout
For when it comes to facile money answers, there are already enough daft solutions about.



Note: This is a light fictitious verse written strictly for amusement only and is dedicated to Martyn Turner the wonderful cartoonist with the Irish Times whose shamrock cartoon inspired the little verse.