At Non-Swim Two Birds!

*Apologies to Flann O'Brien for abuse of title, but verse refers to personal experience of two non swimming Irish people who attempted to 'swim' in pools without depth marking while on holiday abroad:

'She waded blissfully down the swimming pool,

With the nonchalant air of the real fool,

Little knowing that when she reached the deep,

That her lifetime plans would be in a heap.

For soon she was left gasping for air

With flawing arms and billowing hair.

Her hubby quickly noting her distress

Decided at once to bravely impress

And jumped fully clothed into the blue

So he could act the hero too.

But alas his enthusiasm burst like a bubble

And soon he too was in serious trouble

Like a 'paddy playtime' they splashed about

Until two Englishmen simply dragged them out

And left them stretched out by the pool side

With mouth open and eyes staring wild

Until they later recovered their composure

With glasses of wine to give this account closure.

So the moral of this 'non swimming' tale

Is to keep your good Karma and never fail

To confine holiday fun to poolside slumber

Or risk merely registering as a drowning number.