Friday, January 7, 2011

Secret Search for Twitter Tweeting Celebrity Status


I’ve a secret to relate that some of you will consider quite lame
For I have to admit that deep down inside I want to seek fame
Of course I don’t mean the showy, vulgar and bling filled kind
As I’m sure you’ve already deduced I’m not out of my mind.

I’ve no wish to repeat the celebrity crisis of a rocking Rolling Stone
For when I comes to getting my Satisfaction I prefer to seek it alone
And tabloid reported TV angst of stars like those from Lost and Glee
Does not hold water or make me jealous of them as you’ll soon see.

No, the fame I seek is more modest and might be found on my local RTE
I could be interviewed by SamanthaLibreri or do a soccer commercial for Wii
But so far my great talent has gone sadly unnoticed which is more the pity
For strange to relate I can’t even get a walk on part in such as Fair City.

Are my celebrity ambitions too high, should they be abandoned with finality?
Perhaps when all is said and done I should simply seek to be a Personality.
I am riven with doubt, I cannot sleep and have had recourse to a sleeping pill
In fact things are now so bad I may only achieve fame by appearing on Dr Phil

Should I appear on X Factor or American Idol or is this banal and totally absurd
I know I can’t sing or dance but this was no problem for those like Jedward.
I must not get discouraged or falter in my upward trajectory towards success
And may even like Louis W have to consider Botox to get out of this mess.

If I could only bake like TheIrishMother I could front my own TV cookery show
Or expound the quick wit of Bloowriter I could join Oprah Winfrey in the know
And the knowledge of Womenwhowine would allow me to guest as a connoisseur
If I could write like efloraross and Linda_grimes I could put a TV script out there.

Perhaps I could provide a comic turn like tawnafenske which would surely amuse
Or even relate old stories and gags from ValOD1 without appearing to be obtuse
But OMG my anxiety at lack of recognition is causing me to develop a stutter
Or is it just that I have overindulged in almond cakes made by runningonbutter.

Yes it’s true that I’m becoming desperate and have totally lost my celebrity way
In fact I’m considering a name change of distinction like that of demerybakersaye
There seems to be no ready answer to my dilemma and my world is so full of care
I’ll even agree to take part in a photo shoot with Annie Liebovitz for Vanity Fair.

But alas, my celebrity recognition doesn’t stretch this far and hence here is the wrench
When it comes to self projection, I’m more comfortable acting like 2GirlsonaBench.
So I’ll take the advice of hlane, and replace celebrity focus with a fond home pet,
And consider all this vain ramblings about celebrity status as being just, well, wet!

So I now feel cleansed and rejuvenated to be rid of the silly celebrity focus,
For as most of you know, its main ingredient is just so much hocus pocus.
No, I’ll now strive in my new life to having a Personality instead of becoming one
Which I’m sure you’ll agree is actually more balanced and a better recipe for fun.

Note: This is a purely fictional verse written for amusement only.

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