*This verse is decicated to a very special daughter on her birthday
Late one night when I got home from the MediaLab
Quite long after a Social Semantics debate
I was full of ideas and Guinness as well
Having had a few over the eight.
I had hoped that deep peaceful slumber
That should follow a night at the pub,
But I fell victim to a quite dreadful dream
And as Shakespeare said: ‘There’s the rub’.
I dreamt we were back at that venue
In the room with a sag in the floor
John Bres had just put his head round the door
To reckon on his coffee score
I was then that disaster overtook us
The old floor gave a creak and fell in
Hurtling us all to the regions below
Amid shrieks, imprications and din.
The scene was then suddenly shifted
We were herded outside a broad gate
Where a man with an I-Pad and some nerdy clothes
Had appeared to consider our faith.
He spoke and his voice was accusing
It appeared we were none without sin
We had not made the grade; we had one and all failed,
To pass onto the Apple Domain within.
But before he would pass final judgement,
He’d no wish to appear autocratic
So, he agreed to allow each a tweet in defence
With results that were highly dramatic.
COLMORIAIN tweeted that an android code malfunction
Had probably put us all here in the wrong
Though personally speaking, he was not conscious of guilt
That’s excluding wine, women and song.
Salamicat tweeted that writing in flimsy pyjamas
Could surely not be considered obscene
It was simply the manifestation of artistic licence
And in her opinion, he was now just trying to be mean.
Could surely not be considered obscene
It was simply the manifestation of artistic licence
And in her opinion, he was now just trying to be mean.
Rosemary McCabe tweeted that she had written her Times column
With great consideration, fashion sense and moral care
And now felt that she should be given extra points
For locating the Saint on Foursquare.
Musicshosh tweeted that Yesterday, like her friend Paul,
All her troubles seemed so far way.
But now because of the Yoko Ono and St Peter
It looks as if they are here to stay.
Davidmcw tweeted that he was used to being called to account
And had often been abused and called a crank
But over 10 years he had consistently warned
About relying for credit on a Celestial Bank.
Cooper_M tweeted that the saint was badly informed
And that his moral stance was clearly absurd
The obvious result of his not having read
His political book or listened to the LastWord
MiriamOCal tweeted that these Prime Time explanations
Were quite typical of people you know
And declared that before the Saint had opened his mouth
She had booked him for Saturday RTE show.
Sarahndipitous tweeted that a lifetime of happy cooking
And moral sense was now worth less than a fiver
Which came as a particular shock to her
As she regarded herself as a female McGiver.
8ORION8 tweeted that he was mathematically incorrect
In his calculations and should now get a gripsy
Or else his heavenly Hedge Funds
Will end up worth less than her cat Tipsy.
Werethe1s tweeted that the Saint had a standard to keep
Though like X Factor an audition should not be elusive
Still a Simon Cowell like vote should be taken by rote
To ensure that the place was exclusive.
BethArnold tweeted that the Saint had an old fashioned slant
Was obsessed by quaint rules and by chance
Life had changed down below, it now best just to go
For fine food and good wine in France.
PondJumper tweeted in alarm at such bother and fuss
At faults due to the devils own snares
Why, on arrival she thought he would have realised
That she was as mad a bunch of March hares.
With great consideration, fashion sense and moral care
And now felt that she should be given extra points
For locating the Saint on Foursquare.
Musicshosh tweeted that Yesterday, like her friend Paul,
All her troubles seemed so far way.
But now because of the Yoko Ono and St Peter
It looks as if they are here to stay.
Davidmcw tweeted that he was used to being called to account
And had often been abused and called a crank
But over 10 years he had consistently warned
About relying for credit on a Celestial Bank.
Cooper_M tweeted that the saint was badly informed
And that his moral stance was clearly absurd
The obvious result of his not having read
His political book or listened to the LastWord
MiriamOCal tweeted that these Prime Time explanations
Were quite typical of people you know
And declared that before the Saint had opened his mouth
She had booked him for Saturday RTE show.
Sarahndipitous tweeted that a lifetime of happy cooking
And moral sense was now worth less than a fiver
Which came as a particular shock to her
As she regarded herself as a female McGiver.
8ORION8 tweeted that he was mathematically incorrect
In his calculations and should now get a gripsy
Or else his heavenly Hedge Funds
Will end up worth less than her cat Tipsy.
Werethe1s tweeted that the Saint had a standard to keep
Though like X Factor an audition should not be elusive
Still a Simon Cowell like vote should be taken by rote
To ensure that the place was exclusive.
BethArnold tweeted that the Saint had an old fashioned slant
Was obsessed by quaint rules and by chance
Life had changed down below, it now best just to go
For fine food and good wine in France.
PondJumper tweeted in alarm at such bother and fuss
At faults due to the devils own snares
Why, on arrival she thought he would have realised
That she was as mad a bunch of March hares.
Dr Cesa quoted mantras from the famous
And referred at length to 'her modus vivendi'
But all to no purpose as the Great Saint replied
'My girl', I do not comprehend thee'.
Calbion was next to tweet the great saint,
Paying tribute to zeal and devotions
But maintaining in terrestrial life
That chocolate best catered for subconscious emotions
And she was the last, the others sang dumb,
My wife for once did not add her own tweet,
And that’s quite surprising if you can recall
That, on earth, she would continually bleat!
The sight of this motley collection of some 140 characters
Calbion was next to tweet the great saint,
Paying tribute to zeal and devotions
But maintaining in terrestrial life
That chocolate best catered for subconscious emotions
And she was the last, the others sang dumb,
My wife for once did not add her own tweet,
And that’s quite surprising if you can recall
That, on earth, she would continually bleat!
The sight of this motley collection of some 140 characters
Made St Peter cry out 'What the Heck'
I'm sure that I can easily decide their fate,
By recourse to my app on Tweetdeck.
And what was the verdict on that fateful night
Were we sent above or below?
Well, as St Peters I-Pad needed a battery recharge,
I have to confess-I don’t know.
Note:
1) the sentiments expressed here are purely for fun and are wholly fictional
2) They are based upon and quote liberally from a verse written by my late father Michael some 50 years ago in appreciation of Robert service verses. However, they have been updated to take account of the 'reach' and tools of modern technology.
3) How little in human terms have changed!!
And what was the verdict on that fateful night
Were we sent above or below?
Well, as St Peters I-Pad needed a battery recharge,
I have to confess-I don’t know.
Note:
1) the sentiments expressed here are purely for fun and are wholly fictional
2) They are based upon and quote liberally from a verse written by my late father Michael some 50 years ago in appreciation of Robert service verses. However, they have been updated to take account of the 'reach' and tools of modern technology.
3) How little in human terms have changed!!
You are just such a sweetheart. I am honored. No one has ever put me in ONE poem, much less two! Bless you, and happy birthday to the daughter! molly
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